My postman must question what I do for a living. He is forever bringing parcels of every shape and size to my door, it is one of the perks of being a blogger, that I get to review some fabulous things and impart my wisdom on the world.
However, I fear the postman may feel I have an over enthusiastic spending finger and am addicted to Amazon and eBay.
I must confess to having a mild blush when my latest parcel arrived, as it is one for grown up eyes only, and I had to sneak it into the bedroom to have a quick look.
It is a massage gel…..
For us adults in the home, obviously.
Made by Durex, Embrace is a duo of sensual pleasure gels, one that gets you all warm and tingly and one that excites the senses.
I giggled like a school girl when I opened it.
I have to confess that I love a massage, it doesn’t have to lead to the act of baby making, in fact more often than not it leads to the act of sleep, but it is a rare occasion that I get a rub down from him indoors.
So the scene was set, I created a mood…..
I set a Mickey Mouse candle burning (it was all I could find) and set some tunes flowing from the iPad. Convincing the other half that this was work I
forced gently cajoled him into giving me a massage.
It was all going quite nicely, my shoulders were losing their tension, I was still awake, and Adele was crooning happily in the background.
Adele faded out and the next song began,
“Postman Pat, Postman Pat,”
Never use iPad shuffle, it will ignore any perfectly good mood creating tunes and leap to the most inappropriate song choice when you least expect it.
In my hurry to rid the room of Pat and his black and white cat, I launched Mickey Mouse and his burning ears across the room as I reached for the iPad. Then I threw myself from my massage table (read: bed) to blow Mickey out before the house was set ablaze by mine and Pat’s passions.
I then sat on the floor panting for a moment, checking I was alive and the house not on fire.
Then I heard a cheeky little voice call,
“Mummy, why are you and Daddy watching Pat?”
It was at this point that I realised that him indoors had left the room and was happily channel surfing in the lounge.
I settled the small one, turned off the iPad, enjoyed the soft relaxing glow that was settled on my shoulders and joined the other half in the lounge.
“Good stuff, that Embrace,” he muttered whilst draping an arm around my shoulders, “let’s try it again when your mum has got the kids.”
I this that is a cracking plan!
Disclosure: We were commissioned to write about Embrace which retails around £10.95 – not a bad price to pay for a bit of pleasure. You can find out more at their website and watch a cracking video to show you what this stuff can really do!